I remember clearly the moment I realized it. Three weeks after being fired for the first time in my life, I had surpassed my longest vacation in 40 years; dating back to the newspaper route I took over at the age of 11.
Six months later, I finished my MBA; just over 30 years after dropping out of college.
So, it has been an eventful and emotional twelve months. Following are six lessons learned (or remembered) on the journey so far.
ON GETTING OVER A SETBACK
People are not against you; they are for themselves.
This is the hardest but most freeing concept to learn. Blaming others, while potentially deserved, does nothing to help you grow and can only hurt you. Carrying a grudge long-term is like drinking poison and hoping someone else gets sick. Forgive the transgression (for your sake, not theirs) and understand that they fired you for themselves.
If you struggle with forgiveness like I have, it may help to contemplate that forgiveness is not absolution, is not whitewashing, is not an admission of guilt, is not approval or condoning of actions, and does not make wrong right. Forgiveness is letting go and moving on. (It also does not mean that there are not a couple of people to whom I sometimes refer using obscene gerunds and anatomically-specific epithets, a la Doonesbury).
Even with a great attitude, it is hard not to take it personally.
A former coworker and (still) trusted advisor made a succinct and insightful observation: Being fired is the ultimate disrespect. As a result, you are likely to feel bad in some way and have self-doubts and unresolved feelings. Whoever fired you: They got closure, you did not. They were in control, you were not.
If like me you lost a job that you held for a long time (I think 26 years qualifies as a long time), it may take a little while to recover. Keep at it. To be honest, I was very angry for a very long time. If you want details, come to Bloomington with a bottle of single-malt Scotch (I am partial to Ledaig), a couple of hours to kill, and an NDA and I might tell you my tale, using fictionalized characters in totally hypothetical but nonetheless eerily accurate circumstances, of course.
You win some; you learn some.
You truly lose only when you fail to learn anything. As Captain Picard (I embrace my inner geek) said: “It is possible to commit no mistakes and still lose.” People lose jobs all the time, for reasons totally out of their control. If laws or contracts were broken, find a lawyer or contact the DOL (you do know that you can file a DOL complaint free of charge, right?). If you screwed up, adjust your attitude or actions and move on. If you have lessons to learn, do it. Be honest with yourself. Reframe losses as lessons learned and turn your attention to the problem at hand, which is probably the job of finding a job.
ON ADVOCATING FOR YOURSELF
Keep track of your work accomplishments
This is good advice for everyone, all the time, and a drum I have beat before with many of my prior employees (for the mildly dyslexic, let me be clear: I did not beat my employees). At review time or in regular meetings with your supervisor, you want to be able to demonstrate your value with facts and figures and verify that you are on the right track. If you have nothing on the list, and assuming you always show up on time and do your work, you should at least have punctuality and reliability to brag about.
You can help yourself in this if you will maintain an ongoing list of job duties and projects. I suggest updating it weekly, and keeping track of three categories: (1) Current projects and duties, (2) Past projects and duties (whether completed or abandoned), and (3) Future identified projects awaiting action. Projects include events, tasks, and training. Write a short narrative to remind you of the “What” and “Why”.
Crucially: do not keep your only copy of your accomplishments on a work computer. Keep a copy at home, whether in writing, email, whatever. Keep it up to date. After the fact, you will not easily remember how you cut expenses by 73%, or how you streamlined a process, or the exact impact you had on every cool project you contributed to. You will be frantic for details when writing your resume and are likely to forget something. My own list of dragon slaying took me weeks to reconstruct, and I am certain I have overlooked some significant experiences.
Maintain your Resumé/CV and LinkedIn profile
This goes hand in hand with the previous point. Regularly review your resume and LinkedIn profile for content, tone, and format. Professional image and personal branding maintenance is a relevant, achievable, renewable New Year’s Resolution. Annually is good, more often is more better. (Poor grammar as found in the previous sentence would be something to look for, unless your target job is drinking rum and doing bad Jamaican caricatures.) I highly recommend finding a reputable, proven resume writer to help you with both tasks at some point in your journey.
Network, Network, Network!
Do this especially while you are still employed, and absolutely when unemployed. Connect with every business associate, co-worker, supplier, and customer contact (be careful with that one) on LinkedIn as soon as possible after you meet them. Personalize the invitation. Go to industry events regularly and also network locally via the Chamber of Commerce or local professional organizations. Why? Because your next job may depend on it.
My informal survey of a handful of people who have lost and found new high-level positions (senior management and C-Suite), plus a consultant or two with some experience in this area, confirms that most of these jobs are filled by referral and personal connections. You know why that is: trust. People trust what (or who) they know, and personal recommendations convey trust and familiarity.
The latest intelligence I have suggests that 50% to 75% of open high-level positions are never advertised, but instead are filled by referral. Get to know people.
…and in conclusion…
Above all else, I have been reminded that family and friends value me (as yours should you) for who I am and not what I can buy them or what title I have. Wisdom, compassion, and connection are essential human assets which transcend work and wealth and which increase through time and trial. In this, seniority finds its true worth.
Lastly, I am fully aware of and thankful for the many generous professionals who have helped me learn and earn so far. I’ll do a better, more complete job later but to be brief and to extend a quiet thanks reaching back to the 80’s and very early 90’s: thank you to John, Patty, Jan, Connie, Ogden, Mat, Cheryl, and of course my dad: George. You were the foundation of my career, and set examples I remember today.
My very best wishes for a bright and fulfilling future for everyone,
Steve
Does your business need to change and grow? Are you looking for a transformational leader who connects with people, creates a sense of purpose, and enables scalable growth? I am Steve Feaster, an MBA with more than 30 years of experience in Accounting, IT, HR, Leadership, Risk Management, and Business Administration. Together, we can move mountains. Contact me.